I have quit smoking AGAIN!!! This is day 2!!

For those who don’t know me well. I was quit 7 years and started again on a construction job in Albuquerque in 2001 Then I was quit for a year after I got home from Iraq in 2006 and started smoking again on a construction job in China in 2007. On both occasions there were electricians and alcohol involved. So I can only surmise it is the fault of the electricians….electricians make you smoke!!!! I have been told, there is nothing that impairs your judgment more than an electrician!

I know I can do this and I really hate smoking. I don’t smoke in the house and I don’t smoke around Keelen. I am totally embarrassed that I smoke and I hide in my own damn yard.

I have been waiting for some peaceful zen-like perfect moment in my life that might make it easier. ha ha ha ha That’s too damn funny. I have so much stuff going on….all good! Some I will even be able to blog about SOON SOON SOON!

My husband is home this week and I thought…”What a great time to quit! He can help keep me honest.” And he’s thinking…”Shit….can someone take me to the freakin’ airport!”

I feel this amazing anxiety. I have been here before and I know it will pass. I am on the patch and my family says I am bit testy and I am trying VERY hard not to be!!! But I know at this very moment…..I could easily kill someone!! My husband has told me that our family is out of season and off limits. But just to be on the safe side….they went to town. Sooo…..if you need to have someone injured or killed ,,,…right this very moment is good for me. (just kidding please don’t ask me to kill your asshole spouse)

I will keep you posted!

Ms Sparky

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I live on the west side of the Cascade Mountain range. We have a lot of wildlife, redtail hawks, bald eagles, deer, coyotes, foxes, you name it, we got it.

I was sitting outside watching a pair of bald eagles circling overhead. They obviously had their eye on something yummy. Then all of a sudden a small bird, a sparrow I think, started harassing them. They had probably gotten too close to a nest and this little bird was giving them hell. Those eagles could have snatched this little bird right out of the sky but that didn’t deter it. It just kept dive bombing and chasing them. This went on for about five minutes and then the eagles decided to move on.

I was impressed. This little sparrow stood up to these two big majestic eagles and won. Obviously it felt it was fighting for something important.

I think people are like that. There are people who make a lot of noise, but when push comes to shove they cower in the brambles like a rabbit. Afraid that the big bad eagle will hurt them. And then there are the sparrows. Small and insignificant in the big scheme of things. Considered a pest at times. But when it’s time to take a stand and fight for what is right they will not intimidated.

To all the sparrows out there. Do not waiver in your convictions. Do not be intimidated. Do not doubt yourself. Do what is right for the greater good.

You know who you are! SPARROWS UNITE!!

Ms Sparky

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FINALLY, Tiffany has completed those damn parenting classes. The ones where she was calling me every night after class and giving me parenting advice. Argh!!! Oh my God give me strength….(to not choke the crap out of her)!

There was a graduation ceremony at the prison. I took Keelen and Ethan and his parents came. It was awesome.

I think the thing that amazed me the most…(well there were two things) was that Tiffany was so pleasant to be around. All that nasty drug induced hatefulness was gone. She was a delight, funny and conversational. The daughter I know and love. The other thing was Ethan. He will be two in August. My how time flies. Although he doesn’t know Tiffany as his Mother, he let her hold him and do all the kid games and activities. He was independent and self confident. His adopted Mom and Dad are doing such a great job with him. I know we did the right thing placing him for adoption with them.

Tiffany made both of the boys gifts and they painted and did some kind of cookie dance. Tiffany was just enthralled and I was having a great time talking to grown ups.

Although I hated the parenting classes…I am proud that she singed up for this twelve week, three hours a night, three nights a week, after working all day, class. She not only completed it, but she excelled in it. She participated and grew as a woman, a mother, a daughter.

I am so proud of the strides she has made. Not just what she is doing, but how she is thinking. Her whole thought process has changed.

I know my daughter is in prison, but I am a very proud mom!! How many mom’s can say that!

The photo above is Tiffany at about 16 months old. Does Keelen look just like her or what!

Ms Sparky

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Cal didn’t get to come home this weekend. He was stuck in Akron. He gave me a call to tell me there was one hell of a storm going on. During our conversation the tornado sirens went off. Damn that triggered an Iraq flash back. They sounded similar to the “take cover” alarms that would sound in Baghdad when we were under attack.

Cal told me everything was fine…it was just a precaution. That was not very reassuring to me. I was genuinely concerned. I can remember numerous occasions while in Baghdad, I’d be talking on the phone to friends and family and the sirens would go off or there would be an explosion close by. They would freak and I would tell them that everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about. Now I know how they felt and that my words were not very reassuring.

Amazing how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot.

Ms Sparky

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Last week Keelen and I went to visit his other grandparents in Idaho. We both had a great time. We went to the Zoo and Discovery Center, rented paddle boats and played at the park. He had a wonderful time and I got a chance to get to know his grandparents better.

Normally Keelen doesn’t eat junk food. The sugar just spins him up and I normally end up paying the price. But, this was a special occasion so I didn’t fuss too much about it.

In order to get him out of the zoo without throwing a big fit, I bribed him with ice cream. We went to TCBY’s and he had some kind of bright blue ice cream that actually turned his lips and tongue blue. He thought it was cool and I thought “Oh great….that’s just not going to wash off!!”

Yesterday he comes running out of the bathroom yelling “Grandma…Grandma come here…come here…look at this!!!” I was thinking “Oh God now what!” He took my hand and led me back to the bathroom. He goes “Look Grandma look!” pointing in the toilet. I looked and saw the brightest blue poop I had ever seen in my life. Actually it was the only blue poop I had ever seen. It was this color of BLUE ! I was a bit concerned at first. It took me a few minutes to figure out what had caused that, then I remembered….the ice cream. It was just as blue coming out and it was going in.

I’m not sure we should really be eating stuff like that. But I guess if the FDA says it’s OK then it must be OK….right?

Ms Sparky

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I try to live my life in such a way
That when my feet hit the floor in the morning
Satan shudders and says
“OH SHIT…SHE’S AWAKE!!!”

Ms Sparky
(Thanks Karin)

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Keelen and I are getting ready to fly to visit his other Grandparents. It was a choice between a 10 hour road trip or a 1 hour flight. Hmmmmm……tough decision!!!

He’s flown before, but it’s the first flight he will really remember it. Although it’s only about an hour, that will be plenty long enough if things aren’t going well. I hope his ears equalize. That can be so amazingly painful. That happened to me flying back from Beijing. Oh My God!!! It was like someone was stabbing me in the ear with an ice pick. I actually cried!!!

I am finishing last minute packing trying to make sure I have everything he will need and still get it through security and keep it as carry-on. He packed everything he wanted to take last night. That included a stuffed dog so big that I would’ve had to buy it it’s own seat. He was very insistent about taking it, but I finally convinced him it would be best if the dog stayed home and took care of the house while we were gone.

I have probably flown over 100,000 miles in the last three years. But never with a 5 year old. I have seen so many unhappy children and parents at airports and on planes. This should be interesting.

Wish me luck.

Ms Sparky

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Father’s all over are being honored on this special day with cards, tools and ties they will never wear. They really have their jobs cut out for them. Not having raised boys before now, I know that being a great role model for a boy can be a full time job. This is what we’ve learned.

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I’ve often wondered what the big deal was with Friday the 13th. So I did me a little research.

The fear of Friday the 13th is rooted in ancient, separate bad-luck associations with the number 13 and the day Friday. The two unlucky entities combine to make one super unlucky day.

There is a Norse myth about 12 gods having a dinner party at Valhalla, their heaven. In walked the uninvited 13th guest, the mischievous Loki. Once there, Loki arranged for Hoder, the blind god of darkness, to shoot Balder the Beautiful, the god of joy and gladness, with a mistletoe-tipped arrow. Balder died and the Earth got dark. The whole Earth mourned.

There is a Biblical reference to the unlucky number 13. Judas, the apostle who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th guest to the Last Supper.

A particularly bad Friday the 13th occurred in the middle ages. On a Friday the 13th in 1306, King Philip of France arrested the revered Knights Templar and began torturing them, marking the occasion as a day of evil.

In ancient Rome, witches reportedly gathered in groups of 12. The 13th was believed to be the devil.

Both Friday and the number 13 were once closely associated with capital punishment. In British tradition, Friday was the conventional day for public hangings, and there were supposedly 13 steps leading up to the noose.

It is traditionally believed that Eve tempted Adam with the apple on a Friday. Tradition also has it that the Flood in the Bible, the confusion at the Tower of Babel, and the death of Jesus Christ all took place on Friday.

Numerologists consider 12 a “complete” number. There are 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, and 12 apostles of Jesus. In exceeding 12 by 1, 13’s association with bad luck has to do with just being a little beyond completeness.

Now that you know where this strange irrational fear of Friday the 13th came from, here are but a few samples of how we deal with it.

1. More than 80 percent of high-rises lack a 13th floor.
2. Airplanes have no 13th aisle.
3. Hospitals and hotels regularly have no room number 13.
4. Italians omit the number 13 from their national lottery.
5. On streets in Florence, Italy, the house between number 12 and 14 is addressed as 12 1/2.
6. Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue
7. Many airports skip the 13th gate.
8. In France, socialites known as the quatorziens (fourteeners) once made themselves available as 14th guests to keep a dinner party from an unlucky fate.

Many “triskaidekaphobes”, as those who fear the unlucky number are known, point to the ill-fated mission to the moon, Apollo 13.

If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil’s luck . Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names.

So there you have it. Everything you ever wanted to know…or not…about Friday the 13th.

Ms Sparky

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If I look at my life, I can usually attribute the “positive” and “not so positive” things that have happened to a decision I made in the past. I am pretty stubborn, so there is a good chance I made some of those bad decisions more than once.

I get so tired of hearing people whine about how their life sucks and not taking any responsibility for it. “Someone else did it to me.” “The Universe singled me out and crapped on me.” “God is punishing me.” “Oh woe is me!”

Our society seems to have turned into a bunch of blamers. People don’t want to take responsibility for the problems they have. You see it on TV with celebrities and politicians and you see it with normal people everyday. “My boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is a jerk and I won’t leave them.” “I can’t pay my bills because I spent more than I can afford and didn’t put enough away for a rainy day!” “I just had a heart attack because because I eat like crap!” “My house got flooded because I built it on a damn river!” I really could go on and on and on.

Very few things in our life are truly random. Maybe being hit by a meteor or space junk or some unexpected illnesses. Sometimes you can just be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I do my best to think things through before I make decisions, but God knows I have made my share of mistakes (opportunities to grow) over the years, everyone does. If I screw up, and let me tell you I have, I’d like to think I am woman enough to own it. I don’t blame someone else. I don’t blame the Universe. I don’t blame God.

I believe people choose their lives. If you don’t like yours…..choose to change it.

“Nothing By Chance…..Everything By Choice!”

Ms Sparky

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Keelen and I have been on a week long road trip visiting friends and family. Despite the fact that we have been on the move for the last seven days, he has been great, except for the little shoplifting incident.

He’s quite the “Chatty Cathy” when we’re in the car and wants to include me in everything, including the ABC Song, the B-I-N-G-O song, and counting to 100. I think this is all great but you can only sing it so many times before you start to seriously consider driving over a cliff!!! I tried several techniques to distract him while on the road. I turned a normally four hour road trip home into an eight hour road trip by stopping at a Forest Service fish hatchery, a dam, four waterfalls and numerous view points.

Now….let’s talk about peeing! Every time we were near a bathroom I asked him “Do you need to pee?” “No Grandma!” Well, he learned it is much more fun to pee on the side of the road than pee in a public restroom. I tell you there is nothing like standing on the side of a busy interstate with semi’s whizzing (pardon the pun) past at 60 miles an hour while your five year old is peeing pictures in the dirt. “Look Grandma…a smiley face!”

We’re home. I have my well deserved beer. He has had his bath and is watching 30 minutes of cartoons before bed. We both have earned a well deserved break from each other for a few minutes…..or more.

The photo above is at Multnomah Falls, the 2nd highest all year waterfall in the U.S. and the photo below is Herman the Sturgeon at the Bonneville Fish Hatchery. He’s 35 years old, 10′ long and 450 lbs. Sturgeon in the Columbia River live to over 100 years, get up to 20′ long and weigh over 1000 lbs. Damn!!!

If anyone knows how to get the B-I-N-G-O song out of my head let me know.

And Ms Sparky was her name-o!!

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Today we went to a HS Graduation BBQ for my niece Jessica….CONGRATS Jessie we are very proud of you!!! It was a great family get together and we had a great time visiting and catching up. I have to admit I was a little concerned about how Keelen would behave, especially after our little shoplifting incident yesterday. But I must say he was amazing. He was so well behaved. He didn’t argue, had great manners, was polite. I got so many compliments about him. I was very proud, just beaming.

This was such an amazing contrast to the miserable day we had yesterday. Maybe this is God’s way of saying….”Hang in there, yesterday was just a test and today is your reward for passing it. But, don’t get too cocky because there will be lots more tests to come!!”

Enjoy the moment.

Ms Sparky

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Keelen and I are about halfway through a week long road trip visiting friends and family. It has been fun but kind of stressful travelling with a 5 year old. All in all he has done fairly well.

Today we were on our way to see my sister and I thought it would be fun to stop at the Dairygold Cheese Factory. We did the self-guided tour. Keelen thought it was pretty cool but lost interest fast. He was more interested in the free cheese samples down in the gift shop. So we headed back to the gift shop. They also had a decent burger stand so I decided to order lunch. Keelen saw this as an opportunity to take as much candy as possible and hide it under his baseball cap. I might have never known except his cap was so loaded with candy it fell off his head and all the candy fell to the floor. I was stunned. The store manager came over and gave him a stern talking to. Then asked us to leave. I was shocked and stunned and was more than happy to leave. I grabbed our food and left.

When we got to the car I explained, that kind of stealing is called shoplifting. It was illegal and that he could go to jail. When I asked him what he thought he was doing all I got at first was “I don’t know.” Then about 30 minutes later he blurts out from the back seat..”I thought it was free…the cheese was free and I thought the candy was free too. And I knew you wouldn’t let me have sugar candy that’s why I hid it under my hat.”

I must say I was impressed with his thought process and honesty. I will give him the “I thought it was free” thing. I can see where he might have thought that. But I can’t give him the “I knew you wouldn’t let me have it so I hid it from you” thing.

I can see he’s pretty damn smart. I think I have my work cut out for me.

Ms Sparky

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My first rose of the year has bloomed. (see photo) It’s a Jackson and Perkins Floribunda called Rainbow Sorbet. I planted two last year and they are just amazing. This year I have planted a total of ten new roses. I can’t wait until everything is blooming!!!

Last year, I was having a problem with bugs on my roses. In an effort to NOT turn my property into a toxic waste dump I bought this awesome organic all natural bug repellent that was made from peppermint and garlic. It worked great and within a day or so all the bugs were gone and within a day or so all the local deer were browsing in the new deer salad bar at my house. Although the bugs hated the repellent, the deer thought it was salad dressing. It had an olive oil base and I just could not get it off my roses without totally killing them. I spent tons of money on every kind of deer repellent on the market but nothing worked. I seriously considered a hunting rifle and I loath hunting.

Although the deer totally trashed my roses last year, they seem to have recovered well. I have sprayed them for bugs with a totally toxic poisonous bug spray. I will again try deer repellent and am considering getting a big dog. But if all else fails I have a great recipe for venison stew!!!

Ms Sparky

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My daughter Tiffany has been taking parenting classes at the prison. These classes are three nights a week for four months. Her graduation is June 20th and we’re all going to be there to support her. I think it’s great she is taking this seriously and getting all she can out of it.

The problem is, she calls me every night after class and tells me what she has learned that day and gives me some “really cool thing” to implement at home. Here are just a few examples:

1. Get down on the floor and play with Keelen. Oh please….if I got down on the floor I would be down there until Cal got home on Friday.
2. Start having a game night. I tried to have a game night when Tiffany was little and she acted like I was asking her to clean the toilet with her toothbrush!!
3. She wants me to make sure that I ALWAYS say please and thank you. So now it’s “Keelen!!! Please stop running your big wheel into my new car!!! Thank you!!!”

I had to put the smack down on her about giving me parenting advice. It’s hard for me to take parenting advice from someone who should be doing it herself. But instead sits around and thinks up all this great stuff I can do.

I know she is just trying to be involved with the raising of her son and that’s great. But I’ve decided I’m doing things a little differently this go round. With Tiffany it was all that new age compromising and how does that make you feel crap and look where that got her. This time around, it’s I’m the boss, we’re doing it my way and this ain’t no democracy. If that doesn’t work at least Keelen will have something good to tell his therapist.

Ms Sparky

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I think there are two kinds of people in the world….watchers and doers. Everyone has dreams, aspirations, things they want to do….or wish they had done. Why don’t people follow their dreams? Is it that critical voice in their head that says “That’s stupid….that won’t work.” Or is it the people in their life that say, “Are you high? What the hell are you thinkin’?” Everyone’s a critic. Especially those who are afraid to put it out there and risk it all. Those people are watchers.

What I love to see are the people that say “The hell with you….I’m going for it anyway!” Those people are doers. Darlene is one of those people. Darlene and I graduated together in 1978. That’s right our 30 year reunion is coming up and you know what? I am absolutely thrilled to be a member of the “Fabulous Forties” group of women and so is Darlene.

Darlene, her sister Goldie and friend Lynn had this idea to produce a video showing them goofing around and singing the ABBA megahit Mamma Mia. Then they actually had the guts to enter it into the Ponds “40+ and Fabulous Mamma Mia” National competition. And you know what? Competing against 1000’s of other women with great ideas and the guts to enter, they made it to the final 5. Their video ROCKS and will put a smile on your face. This video is imaginative, creative, funny and very well done and I honestly believe it is the best video.

Do yourself a huge favor and take a look. The video is only about three minutes long and guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Their video is the one on the left starring Darlene M; Lynn S & Goldie I. Then give them your vote. Click here to see the video.

Mamma Mia Ladies! Good Luck.

Ms Sparky

The competition is over and Darlene, Goldie & Lynn didn’t win. But they did give it one heck of a try. Way to go ladies. ( I have removed the competition links)

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